Forest Hillian Odes

Blokes do try!!

2009-07-27T19:53:00.001+01:00

This was taken from another report, just showing how hard us blokes try

"India needs rain. They need it bad. Everything's drying up, and that means that crops aren't growing, bellies aren't getting fed, and people are having a rough time. If it doesn't rain soon, India's gonna be facing a problem bigger than Shane Diesel and Galactus combined (which, you know, is a deadlier combination than Archie and the Punisher). So what's the solution? Apparently, it's naked chicks. Who knew? Is Stanko running India's agricultural system now or something?

So, yeah. Farmers in the eastern Indian state of Bihar are asking all unmarried daughters to plow the fields in the nude, in hopes of making rain happen. I'll admit, the premise was sort of confusing to me at first, until I saw a quote from a village council member, which cleared the whole thing up: "They (villagers) believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains."

Of course. Now it makes sense. I can't say I know much about weather gods, but I think when most people see a field full of young naked women plowing and chanting, embarrassment isn't one of the emotions they feel. I can't quite understand how this is supposed to embarrass the gods, and even if it does, since when is rain the appropriate response for embarrassment? I know it's a different culture, and there's a lot a semi-illiterate porno blogger doesn't know (seriously, I'm ignorant as a mothafucka), but this plan just doesn't add up to me. I think it's more along the lines of a scam (or possibly scamola) where the local farmers have nothing to do since their crops aren't growing, so they figure maybe they'd rather sit back and watch the local women get naked and do work for them. That shit's fucked up, man. You plow your own goddamn field, or at least pull your wang out and help, for the love of the innumerable weather gods!

"This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily," the council member said of the ritual, and fuck, I hope it works. Fuckers need rain, you know, and Tony Stark's weather machine is 1)Not ready for international deployment yet and 2) entirely fictional.

I guess, best case scenario, the late-as-fuck monsoons start raging and everybody gets a sweet-ass load of crops. Worst case, boobs and lots of them.

I'm just thankful that I'm a Catholic, and we don't have any crazy rituals like this shit!"

Lesbian Tennis Abuse, but what about the Mum

2007-10-22T12:38:00.000+01:00

Clare Lyte, former junior tennis player, aged 29 and a tennis coach to children through the lawn tennis associations Academy has rightly been found guilty of abusing a 13 year old girl. Sentencing has been delayed, but the Judge has indicated that Clare will face prison time and will be on the sex offenders register.

As a byline on most of the reports, when mentioning how the victims mother found Clare performing oral sex, they also mention that the mother did not complain for 10 months, when her daughter was knocked out of a tournament.

Assuming that the newspaper reports are correct - big assumption I know, why is nobody raising the question of the suitability of the mother to parent her daughter? She knew her daughter had been abused, yet she continued to allow contact between her daughter and the abuser, for 10 months. her guilt is almost as great as the tennis coaches, her daughter must feel incredibly let down and betrayed by the one person she must have thought would protect her - her own mother.

Iraq Win The Asia Cup

2007-07-30T13:39:00.001+01:00

And Apparently there are celebrations across the country regardless of sect, so maybe there is hope for this torn nation ... I hope so.

No greater punishment than

2007-07-29T14:51:00.000+01:00

A Filipino Jail sentence, if you had to do this would you commit a crime?

Me neither.

Crime In London

2007-07-28T13:59:00.000+01:00

What a week it has been! A former british boxing champion is shot in the face and legs for asking people to stop smoking in a bar and a young somalian is murdered on the Stockwell Estate, by a gang of youths on bikes, wearing bandana's.

In both cases neither of the crimes have led to arrests and the longer it goes on the less likely an arrest will be made. Presumably if the Stockwell shooting was gang related then the Police have a fair idea of the gang who did it, but the other shooting has us all wondering. In this day and age of CCTV you would have thought that someone was caught on the cameras and maybe we are simply waiting for the camera evidence to be processed, or maybe there is nothing.

Following the shooting there were two people interviewed by the media, a black reverend and a young 20 /' 30 something both preaching against guns. We need the reverends of this world to be doing the work with he parents so that they are working against the kids getting involved, but the problem is a lot of the parents of these kids are either involved themselves, don't care, in prison or cannot control their children. A Major part of the fight against crime has to be peer pressure. We need more young people talking about the negativity of carrying a gun, the stupidity of revenge for idle disrespect, whatever that is. The media need to promote positive role models from the street instead of headlining the bad and ignoring the good.

The media have a big role to play in keeping our streets and children safe, they have become major influencers of opinion, look how they have kept the story for the McCanns alive and yet working class plight, whether it be murder, drug and gun abuse or just the problems of poverty are largely ignored.

Crime is not the problem, it is the symptom and we are too short termist to cure it. Triumphantly we declare that more jails are being built, its nothing to rejoice about, we should be knocking prisons down, reducing the prison population as we solve the problems that lead to crime. We are one of the worlds richest countries, surely instead of spending millions in Iraq, some of that could be directed to home to help people out of the poverty and crime gap or am I too naive!!

Croydon 50 p Building

2007-07-25T13:49:00.000+01:00

For just over six years I worked in one of the landmark offices complexes in Croydon. Affectionately known as the threepenny bit building, if you are as old as me or the fifty pence piece building if you are younger, the building was until recently officially called the NLA Tower and is outside East Croydon Station. Built in the sixties this building was considered for demolition, last year but instead it was decided to renovate and make luxury offices with a refurbished reception. Well a couple of young Croydon lasses obviously took the refurbishment of the reception at the owners word and drove their car into reception, with the result shown in the picture. If you know the building you will remmeber the steepness of the steps going up to reception, so imagine the speed the car must have been doing to get up there. Apparently, the drivers shoe got stuck on the accelerator, which just goes to prove ladies, however good your legs may look in heels, don't wear them while you are driving.

Ashok - New South London Band Gigs

2007-07-13T17:54:00.000+01:00

Ashok are a new south London band recently interviewed on BBC Radio by Phil Jupitus and featured as a band to watch in 2007 by some of the leading national newspapers. Their new album is due out in a few weeks, but if you want to listen to a few tracks click here . They are appearing at

Upcoming Shows

( view all )

21 Jul 2007

20:00

The Dirty South

Lewisham/Lee

27 Jul 2007

20:00

Metro

London, London and South East

28 Jul 2007

17:00

Crystal palace bowl

SE20, London and South East

Don't they ever learn

2007-07-13T11:54:00.000+01:00

Two 16 year olds have been arrested in Ghana for being mules for druggies. I have every sympathy for the kids, but at 16 they are not naive little kids and it will be very difficult for our Government to plea for leniency on their behalf.

If someone pays for you to deceive your family, go to a country and pick up a couple of lap top bags and bring them back to blighty, you must smell a rat, surely or are 16 year olds that naive. The answer is that a sane 16 year old is not, but when figuratively" wined, dined and romanced", the old teenage hormones kick in and they will do anything.

Every parent has a responsibility to remind their children of the dangers of strangers and being romanced, even at the cost of angered response from the children.

If guilty, and there seems to be very little evidence to suggest that they were not, the authorities have to try and punish them as per the Ghanaian law, which could mean that these kids lose their childhood and return to Britain with their lives shattered, years from now. The only hope is that a deal is done and they serve out their sentence over here. The alternative is that they get special treatment and the whole fight against drug crime and mules is undermined, potentially affecting not the lives of two naive kids but hundreds and thousands of people.

Where have all the smokers gone.

2007-07-03T20:53:00.000+01:00

So its happened the ban on smoking has been implemented, much joy and rapture amongst the masses. I was at Euston Station today and saw the shiny new No Smoking signs and the police armed with machine guns presumably to enforce the new law.

As a non smoker, I should not be against the ban, but I suppose equally as a former non smoking worker in the cigarette industry, I should be supportive of the industry.

Its not that I don't agree that smoking is hazardous to health, it is and its proven, but there cannot be a smoker alive today that does not know the fact and its their choice. Ok what about the secondary smokers, I met Roy Castle a few years before he died, so I can fully sympathize with the secondary smoking argument. However, I still don't agree with the total ban.

With regard to pubs, why not have each borough having the authority to have 25% of public houses licensed as smoking pubs and a part of the qualification for a licence is ventilation overall and especially in the area of the bar and food areas.

Smoking is a killer ... the argument about the NHS costs are strong, but the taxes smokers pay on cigarettes are high and if we do make the smoker extinct, then our taxes will increase about £0.05 in the pound.

I don't know the answer but when the cost of coping with dying smokers is quoted does it take into account the cost that these people would cost dying anyway and what is the difference?

I'll be honest I don't like smoking, can't stand the smell of smoke on me when I get home after a night in the pub, but why shouldn't I have the right to choose if I want to tolerate smelling like an old ash tray.

Not a popular view but lets allow choice, lets keep smokers in the minority but lets also give the majority the choice and lets reduce Government interference or we'll start banning everything - alcohol from pubs, cyclists from the road, blue smarties .....

The Who At Wembley - an interesting day

2007-06-28T16:45:00.001+01:00

I was there at the Valley in The 70's, for one of the greatest of The Who's live performances and yesterday 5 years to the day that John Entwhistle died I was at Wembley to see the end of their UK tour. It was the 4th time that I had seen The Who but the first since Keith Moon had died - yes I am that old.

It was an eventful day. since I lost my job in March, I have gone a bit "doo lally", I went to Sainsbury and got £50 cash back, except three hours later I realised that i had not picked it up. I called up Sainsbury and they could not let me know till today.

Things could not get worse.

I had looked forward to tonight for months, recently The Who had become popular to the younger generation and much to my daughters chagrin she realised that we were both fans. This was an evening for the two of us to enjoy a common like together. So 50 year old and 16 year old left Forest Hill at 17.40 for Wembley, with eager anticipation, although not too keen on the heavy rain.

We arrived and saw the new Wembley Stadium, I am a big fan of the Twin Towers and was deeply dissapointed when they were trashed, however the new stadium does look magnificent. However, £15 for parking, I mean £15 quid, bloody hell .. lets fleece the visitors.

Any way, no choice so we parked up and went to the Arena. They scan the tickets on entry, guess what, they were rejected. Did I say I am going doo lally? The reason .. they were for Tuesday!!!!!!!!!! The ticket checker told me to go to the box office and see if they could do anything for me .. I thought to myself, given that I have no income I can't afford to buy more tickets.

I went to the ticket office and explained I had screwed up and had been told to go to the ticket office. The woman told me to talk to the manageress. My daughter was a bit amused that I was arguing against them helping me as it was my fault.

The Manageress took my tickets checked that I had bought them and gave me two tickets that were better than the ones I had bought!!! I wanted to have her babies!!!!!!!!

The performance was brilliant, the warm up group was the Charlatans, who were good, then came The Who, yes they may have got fewer, just the two and older, but they still exuded energy and vitality that belied their age. It was a brilliant performance. Pete Townsend continues to twirl his arm as he played, suggested f***ing Shirley Bassey, Roger Daltrey's vocal range may be more limtiede but he continues to belt out the numbers. Zak Starkey has drumming skills that put his father in the shade and must have Keith Moon looking down on him with pride.

Father and daughter enjoyed the evening which ended with chicken and chips from Roosters. What a great evening that could have been destroyed by a doo lally father!!!

And more good news Sainsbury have my £50

Bye Bye Charlton

2007-05-30T17:59:00.000+01:00

I started this blog as a private blog to myself and it continues to be so, in the main, although I have met Kate of Lewisham to correspond with occaisionally, Kates having a bit of a hard time of it, so everybody or anybody who reads this blog must send out positive thoughts to Kate, her link is on my Fab sites.

I have decided to be very restrictive of my Charlton mentions and focus on my job search and general feelings, leaving any Addicks comments to a separate blog, so if you see any serious mention of Charlton on here again, just give me a cyber slap on the moosh!!

Fat Lady Sings for Charlton

2007-05-13T10:30:00.000+01:00

Well we almost did it, from the depths of Christmas Pardew came over from the East end into his pre anointed role as Charlton Manager and gave us hope until the penultimate week of the season. I dreamt back in Christmas that Defoe would put us down with a goal in the 90th minute at the valley for Spurs to put us down. Well it did not put us down, but Defoe had his revenge for all those years of "Who's a greedy boy" with a superb 90 th minute strike. So onwards to Anfield, then the rebuilding of a new squad and we start again 1th August 2007 - hope I have a job by then.

Alan Johnson

2007-05-13T10:28:00.000+01:00

It maybe quiet here but it is quieter for BBC's man in gazza please support him.

The Knight

2007-04-09T13:41:00.000+01:00

I am a soldier, a knight of the crusades, a battle is over and I am battered and bloodied but not bowed. Dirt covered I kneel, resting on my blood tarnished sword and in this moment I contemplate the battles ahead, for I know there will be many before this war is over. and I now know that this war will not cease. As I age the battle becomes more tedious and the fight harder, but I know also that I must strive further, concentrate longer, double my effort, for my opportunities will be fewer and my victories will be shallower. This is a battle of life of employment and only I can fulfill the goal.

Don't Quit

2007-03-22T22:39:00.000Z

My mantra at the moment is don't quit. A few years ago, I had been unemployed for 18 months, the odd days training here and there helped us through, but we began to run out of money. I spoke to friend of mine and asked him if he knew a tame Head Hunter (the recruitment type not the tribal type) who I could chat too before I took up mini cabbing. Well he introduced me to David of Young English associates. David put me straight and told me that I would get something because he had placed people half as good as me.

On Davids wall was a poem and this is what it said

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will

When the road you are trudging seems all up hill

When funds are low and debts are high

When care is pressing you down a bit

Rest if you must but don’t you quit

Life is queer with its twist and turns

As everyone of us sometimes learns

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow

You may succeed with another blow

Often the blow is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victors cup

And he learned too late when night came down

How close he was to the golden crown

Success is failure turned inside out

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt

And you never can tell how close you are

It maybe near when it seems afar

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit

Its when things seem worse that you mustn’t quit

I copied it down and re typed it when I got home and have kept it for ten years or so. Last year when I was leaving my old company, I phoned David, only to be told that he had passed away. I said sorry and put the phone down, I now wish that I had told his wife (?) David had made such a difference to my life and my families life, this mantra is said to keep me going every day and also in memory of the man that said don't quit.

Gang war in South London

2007-03-21T23:10:00.000Z

Apparently yesterday there was a gang fight in Lordship lane, 100 youths, armed with knives .. what is suburban London coming to?

How to use a speed trap detector part II

2007-03-21T22:59:00.000Z

A few weeks ago on the way to work my car broke down and I needed a new clutch. Whilst it was in the garage my company lent me a car. In doing so I had to fill in my insurance forms. Anyway, in my interviews about the end of my probation period one of the reasons for extending it was "with your impending court case" impending court case what were they talking about?
Yes I had another three points going on my licence but that took me to 9 not 12 and I have got off on 12 before anyway - tossers. Oh I even had the speed trap detector on when I got caught, never mind. If anyone is coming off the M11 watch out for the 50 mile an hour speed trap.

Don't have big birthdays

2007-03-15T08:55:00.000Z

Just before my 21st Birthday, like three days, my Grand father died and so all celebration were cancelled. In those days, maybe still now, 21 was the big one, not 18. For my 30th and I can't complain about this, my first child was born a strapping 10 Lbs 13 oz's, For my 40th I was out of work and depressed, this year its my 50th, in fact, its on saturday - St patricks day - I had a new job of 6 months and everything has been going well, with the exception of some personality problems with my number two. So last week, I was all prepared to be made permanent, but the meeting did not go the way I thought it would, in fact they wanted to extend my probation by two months. Then on Tuesday - bombshell .. you don't fit into the culture of our business despite performing well, we would like you to leave today .....

Knock me down with a feather, one months pay in lieu - not sure if thats tax free and I need a job. Today is day two, yesterday I was up felt great, but those night time demons have got to me .. oh my god, will never work again, have felt really crap this morning, but need to work my way through it and be positive again.

On the good side of it my nephew was interviewed on Phil Jupitus's radio program on BBC Radio six this morning - ok nobody listens to it but its a start for his pro music career.

Sun continues to shine

2007-02-12T15:49:00.000Z

Despite losing to the Manc's and Chelski we still seem to be in with a chance of staying up, amzing the change that pardew has bought to the club. A lesson in leadership and management. It still will be a pretty mean achievement for us to stay in the Premier League, but when Pards joined we were dead and buried, now we are 5 points from safety, with probably the easiest run in, Spammers look dead and buried, but Wigan have turned the corner and suddenly are looking powerful - still we have them at the Valley, so 3 points against West Ham at Home, 3 against Watford away and another 3 at home to Wigan and there is only a two point gap.

Weather is rubbish at the moment, the snow last week was not too bad, worst part was the company car park, when I thought I was going to take out three colleagues cars, still managed to sort my driving skills out just in time.

Forest Hill and Catford Roads were just a bit slushy by 7.00 am, easy peasy driving. 50 miles and the only troubole was the last 10 meters - typical.

How to use a Speed Trap detector

2007-01-30T13:50:00.000Z

I've got a Snooper detector which is claimed to be one of the better detectors, you see I have a bit of a problem with my right foot, it just can't help pushing down and this leads to lots of points - what do points mean, points mean .... driving bans. So now that I have this job requiring 100 miles a day I invested in this speed detector, just short of a ton.

Lesson 1 Find the On Off controls

They don't work if you don't turn them on, so poodling along past Bromley, in what I thought was a 40 mile an hour zone, double flash oh bugger, still cameras don't always have film in them, not any more, upto 6 points on my licence.

Lesson 2 Don't guess the legal limit when its on the screen

Driving to the bottom of the M11, a familiar speed trap, which has done me before, assumed the speed was 50 mph, heard the machine beeping, did I check it - no, another three points.

Its going to be tough driving to the limit over the next two years while some of the points come off.

Now apparently local authorities are allowed to place speed cameras where they like, so look out for them appearing all over the place, in the interests of road safety, not income generation.

They have just imposed a 20 mile limit down my road, that will be a good place for a camera, I defy anyone to be able to drive at 20 or below down there without getting abuse from fellow champions of the road. More money to waste for the council.

What a difference 12 days make

2007-01-30T13:45:00.000Z

Well we won at Portsmouth, our scorer never having scored in english Football before, despite playing for Charlton, Newcastle and Portsmouth, so miracles do happen, maybe we can hope. Down at West Ham, my old mate Curbs seems to be imploding, cheesing off the squad he inherited from Pards by bringing in average players on massive wages and still losing to Watford and the like - roll on the end of Feb when we meet them at the Valley and we have got in a couple of cool signings, including Song from Arsenal on Loan - we've only got one song, we've only got one song .... then we play Bolton tomorrow night so it could be all doom and glooom again, but lets enjoy while we can.

Sunday after the match

2007-01-14T09:23:00.000Z

Well this is a bit of a record. I have not posted so close together, any way I am bored. Went to the must win match v Middlesborough. After going 1-0 with the Fat Eddie Murphy scoring, much against the run of play we we lost 3-1 - hio hum, down we go, of to Pompey next week - the good news is that our last win away was at Pompey in October 2005. In another moment of boredom and the discovery of movie maker on the pc, not to mention despondency over the addicks I produced this Fans Lament
- enjoy or not

Hello anyone there????

2007-01-09T15:22:00.000Z

Oh well its quiet here, its been a long time, the blog police have not been around to remove me! - absent without leave!! Its scary in the time of my absence, I have changed jobs, now working in deepest East sussex, very different from Croydon - sheep crossing the road, had to stop for a deer the other day, not to mention the pheasant preening itself. Oh, on the way home through dark country roads there is a farm that apparently if you find some road kill, as long as its warm they will prepare the meat for you. Fortunately have not hit anything yet.

Since May Curbs has left Charlton, as has Dowie and Reed and we're preparing to leave the Premiership :-( Still we'll be playing Palace next season :-0

Another good place in Forest Hill is a chinese restaurant called Tse's (020 8291 0019) on the South Circular opposite Wetherspoons. Try it.

Now thats more like it.

2006-05-19T08:50:00.000+01:00

Again a long gap between postings and only rubbish to write, but nice to see that my normal expectations have been resumed with the only comments between gaps being spammers (I was alerted by my Charlton mate - David, cheers David.

Any way if yoiu want some free porn then there is an address on the comments although if I were you I would find a more legitimate site to get material to strain your wrist and give you bad eye sight.

The other bit of spam is getting a degree, much more useful, I fancy getting a degree in nuclear fusion but can't be arsed to study, I may try it. Of course, I will justifiably be able to say that the degree is not worth the paper its written on.

Blimey

2006-02-26T09:41:00.000Z

I have not really thought about what use I am going to put this blog too, although I have one or two thoughts, other than its original intention, which was to be able to leave comments on other peoples blogs... particulalry Football related to Charlton... I did retun to the blog today to find 3 messages on my original posting, what a shock, gob smacking to say the least....should have answered them. probably won't get any further visits but then when you don't include content why should you.

Anyway, Horinmans is still there and is growing, seems to have had lots of funding in recent years... well worth a visit. lots to do and see and its FREE.

Why Forest Hill?

2005-12-20T20:34:00.000Z

Well why not? Stuck in the middle of Catford, Brockley, Sydenham and Dulwich, I have lived here most of my life, having attended Rathfern Primary School, Fairlawn Primary School, sent my kids to Perrymount Primary School, where I was a Governor and my wife works and my son went to Forest Hill Boys (Dacres Road) and then Hillside Sixth Form college and my daughter is at Sydenham Girls.

Forest Hill is a nice little Town, with lots of potential and plenty of past, particularly surrounding the Museum, Hornimans - presented to the people by Lord Hornimans.

On the negative side Sainsbury have just extended their monolithic superstore and there is the Old ABC Cinema which is now a Wetherspoons. Positvely, apart from Hornimans, there are the Victorian baths which are continually being threatened with closure or character destroying refurbishment, then then there is the victorian public loos which are closed. Dartmouth Road has lots of good shops and pubs and restaurants, question is a favourite haunt.