How to use a Speed Trap detector

I've got a Snooper detector which is claimed to be one of the better detectors, you see I have a bit of a problem with my right foot, it just can't help pushing down and this leads to lots of points - what do points mean, points mean .... driving bans. So now that I have this job requiring 100 miles a day I invested in this speed detector, just short of a ton.

Lesson 1 Find the On Off controls

They don't work if you don't turn them on, so poodling along past Bromley, in what I thought was a 40 mile an hour zone, double flash oh bugger, still cameras don't always have film in them, not any more, upto 6 points on my licence.

Lesson 2 Don't guess the legal limit when its on the screen

Driving to the bottom of the M11, a familiar speed trap, which has done me before, assumed the speed was 50 mph, heard the machine beeping, did I check it - no, another three points.

Its going to be tough driving to the limit over the next two years while some of the points come off.

Now apparently local authorities are allowed to place speed cameras where they like, so look out for them appearing all over the place, in the interests of road safety, not income generation.

They have just imposed a 20 mile limit down my road, that will be a good place for a camera, I defy anyone to be able to drive at 20 or below down there without getting abuse from fellow champions of the road. More money to waste for the council.

What a difference 12 days make

Well we won at Portsmouth, our scorer never having scored in english Football before, despite playing for Charlton, Newcastle and Portsmouth, so miracles do happen, maybe we can hope. Down at West Ham, my old mate Curbs seems to be imploding, cheesing off the squad he inherited from Pards by bringing in average players on massive wages and still losing to Watford and the like - roll on the end of Feb when we meet them at the Valley and we have got in a couple of cool signings, including Song from Arsenal on Loan - we've only got one song, we've only got one song .... then we play Bolton tomorrow night so it could be all doom and glooom again, but lets enjoy while we can.