Monday, July 27, 2009

Blokes do try!!

This was taken from another report, just showing how hard us blokes try

"India needs rain. They need it bad. Everything's drying up, and that means that crops aren't growing, bellies aren't getting fed, and people are having a rough time. If it doesn't rain soon, India's gonna be facing a problem bigger than Shane Diesel and Galactus combined (which, you know, is a deadlier combination than Archie and the Punisher). So what's the solution? Apparently, it's naked chicks. Who knew? Is Stanko running India's agricultural system now or something?

So, yeah. Farmers in the eastern Indian state of Bihar are asking all unmarried daughters to plow the fields in the nude, in hopes of making rain happen. I'll admit, the premise was sort of confusing to me at first, until I saw a quote from a village council member, which cleared the whole thing up: "They (villagers) believe their acts would get the weather gods badly embarrassed, who in turn would ensure bumper crops by sending rains."

Of course. Now it makes sense. I can't say I know much about weather gods, but I think when most people see a field full of young naked women plowing and chanting, embarrassment isn't one of the emotions they feel. I can't quite understand how this is supposed to embarrass the gods, and even if it does, since when is rain the appropriate response for embarrassment? I know it's a different culture, and there's a lot a semi-illiterate porno blogger doesn't know (seriously, I'm ignorant as a mothafucka), but this plan just doesn't add up to me. I think it's more along the lines of a scam (or possibly scamola) where the local farmers have nothing to do since their crops aren't growing, so they figure maybe they'd rather sit back and watch the local women get naked and do work for them. That shit's fucked up, man. You plow your own goddamn field, or at least pull your wang out and help, for the love of the innumerable weather gods!

"This is the most trusted social custom in the area and the villagers have vowed to continue this practice until it rains very heavily," the council member said of the ritual, and fuck, I hope it works. Fuckers need rain, you know, and Tony Stark's weather machine is 1)Not ready for international deployment yet and 2) entirely fictional.

I guess, best case scenario, the late-as-fuck monsoons start raging and everybody gets a sweet-ass load of crops. Worst case, boobs and lots of them.

I'm just thankful that I'm a Catholic, and we don't have any crazy rituals like this shit!"